In order for my new journey to work well for me, I need to be completely honest in my journaling. You see I have gone through a total of 4 different doctors in the past 12 years. Why? Because I wanted to feel like a success with some weight loss before I went back for my second appointment the following year. Instead I would gain weight, feel shame for not being able to manage my weight better and I could not make myself go back to that same doctor, so I would find a new doctor and begin again and again and again. I know. A little crazy. So I found my current doctor through a referral from my friend across the street and went to go see her, knowing that I would probably spend maybe two years with her right?
But I was delighted as I walked in. She was comfortable and she took the time to talk with me. She answered my questions. I did not feel shame. I will definitely be taking her on my journey with me through the good, the bad and the ugly. We are currently getting a baseline of where I’m at with my health. So Mammogram, Bone Density, Pap Smear (hate that word), Eye Exam, Colonoscopy (hate that procedure), Dental and a variety of basic Blood Tests. It feels a bit overwhelming, but still doable, if I break them all down into small action size pieces.
This is a process, I tell myself. Am I nervous? I am. It has been 3+ years since many of my last appointments and surprises may pop up that I’m not aware of. Mostly, I am excited to start taking control of my health and the best way to do this is to find a baseline to see where I am at. We all need a baseline to build on. As I get them back, I will share the results.